The Magical picnic

“Come on,” Mimi yelled to her puppy Summer, “Forget the picnic and let’s go and play!” Summer followed Mimi with her t hanging out of her mouth.

Sparkle wandered around in the forest. Her unicorn family had left her behind. Sparkle saw Summer and Mimi playing in the warm sun. Her silver horn flashed in excitement as she trotted out of the trees. Mimi saw the tea cup she’d dropped move and the grass buried the tea cup. As the Sparkle appeared, MaguMimi walked over and soon they were all the best of friends. They helped Sparkle find her herd and Sparkle visited them every week.


The Magical picnic — 4 Comments

  1. Hi susan, I really enjoyed reading your work, you used really good puntuation and description, next time try and use elipcise and suspence. Overall it was really good. Well done.

  2. Good work starting your writing with dialogue – it’s a good was to ‘mix things up’ and draw the reader in. Some good vocabulary variety too. Inventive names also.
    Mr. M. (Team 100WC)
    Bedfordshire, UK

  3. Oh I liked reading that Susan. I was taken away to another world and wanted to know more.

    Just a note to remember to check what you’ve written before submitting.

    Can’t wait for your next piece!

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