Night’s Life

I galloped through the flame until i got to the water.I saw my rider swimming towards me, he said “Tomorrow will be a better day Night… a better day,” he patted my pitch black back and jumped onto me and we went to the stables.As we walked to the stables he jumped off of me and there was a new horse.It was a pure white friesian mare, I walked over to her and she was led into her stall.We walked to a festival and we celebrated the return of the wild horses.I reared with excitement as I got called up.


Comments

Night’s Life — 2 Comments

  1. Hi Tilly,

    I really love how there is a sense of mystery in your story – I can’t help but wonder what has happened to separate the horse and rider, and what has caused the fire? Your use of ellipsis (the … ) works really well to heighten the sense of mystery because it shows me that the rider might be feeling tired but hopeful.

    I also love the image at the end of lots of wild horses celebrating at a festival – I wonder if you can think of a simile (when you describe something as something it is not, using like or as: ‘the horse was as black as night’) to describe the wild horses?

    Thank you for taking part in the 100WC – it was a pleasure reading your story.

    Best wishes,
    Mel Wells (Team 100)
    Somerset, UK

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